growing up

I am in love with this amazing woman. I have never met anyone I care about more, and I can't believe that I am lucky enough to be one of the people she spends time with. I want to be everything to her. I want to make her so happy, she can't imagine ever having felt any other way. Only problem is, I'm leaving next year. And not for a little while. I'm going for at least seven years! that is no small issue. I do not want to abandon her, like so many other people in her life have. Thing is, the alternative is not pretty. I need to do this for myself. I need to grow up, and see what I am capable of, and do something worthwhile, and untill I do, I certainly can't be to her what I want to be. I have nothing yet that I can call a 'life,' and I need to sort my head out around that stuff before I can love this amazingly precious person who has floated into my life, the way she deserves to be loved.